She used to love going to church early

Cleaning the chairs,

Sweeping the floors and doing the decors

Not a Sunday went by without her lovely presence

Having graced the small building where fellowship took place

She went from cleaning to protocol

Making sure all went well in church.

First timers and new converts were carefully attended to

Everyone present felt comfortable

And nothing bypassed her watchful eyes

She so loved working for her saviour

It gave her joy and happiness and peace

In His presence was the only place she felt at home

After all, that was how it should be

But then she snapped

Being taken away from her comfort zone

Away from the only place she felt she could serve

Tore something out of her.

Of course she still went to church

But this time, was in a hurry to leave

She stopped cleaning chairs and sweeping floors

She just sat there and watched others do that

She watched others enjoy the blessings

Yet was not moved to partake in her previous joy

Sure she loved the services and the song ministrations

But there was something missing

She knew because it was the first time she felt that way

Then she figured it out

Kingdom stewardship

That was supposed to feel her with joy yeah?

But no, it did not

Rather, it made things worse than ever

There was no pull to engage

She tried, she started

But there was still something missing

She could not figure it out.

She spent day after day listening to her saviour’s inspired songs

Hour after hour

Still nothing

The thought of giving up crossed her mind

But her spirit would not let her

She would not suffer eternal damnation

It was not her destiny

But then she could not go to church anymore

She began to feel unworthy in His presence

Guilt and depression flooded her soul

She would feel so empty

No one to talk to about it all

No one perfectly understood her except Him

Yet, His voice could she hear no more

So, she tried to do it by her own might

Sadly forgetting that it is not and will never be

By her own might or power

But by His Spirit, which she still had but did not feel anymore

So she dived into spiritual books

Finding understanding but not quite knowing how to engage

Then one day

One Sunday morning, like the ones she had now

She did not go to church

But had a somewhat strange inspiration

To read a book in the Holy book

A book she had always intentionally skipped

For reasons only known to her

She did read

And read

And read

And then she found it

Revelations 2:4-5

It was like her saviour was talking to her

And so she listened,

And understood

Happiness flooded her soul

She prayed and finally knew

The last piece that was missing

And vowed to put it into work

To make sure she will never loose her connection

Her connection to her saviour again

For to her, it was a terrible thing

And she promises to remember her first love

And from where she fell

And to do her first works

So that that first bond that was broken by her carelessness

Would hopefully be restored

And she can have her eternal peace, joy and happiness.

Penned, MhizAma…






  1. Praizer · March 23, 2017



  2. Rebecca · May 18

    That was an awesome recognition of her first love. I have really been touched. Keep up your good work.


  3. Anonymous · May 18

    Inspiring…..great work done.
    God bless you


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